Beautiful is: “An adjective that is noticeable in things, and that evokes happiness and contentment in the soul."
I almost melted from the excess of beauty
“I almost melted from the excess of beauty”, the phrase chanted by Egyptian singer Yassin el-Tohami repeatedly resonates from the iconic Juice shop “Al-Mahalawui”, in the Lighthouse central area of Dahab.
Willingly or not, it became the symbolic sentence summarizing an incredible year spent in the vibrating land of South Sinai.
Living in that peaceful town animated by a peculiar energy between the Sinai Mountains and the Red Sea, where I could experience all sort of activities, from rock climbing, to horseback riding, to hiking in the desert, to do snorkelling, diving and, not less importantly, recharging, could feel sometimes an excess of beauty.
Moreover, in the year of the global pandemic where the entire world was shaken by the dramatic changes and sudden restrictions deriving from the fear of spreading COVID-19, living in that place could not be but a blessing. Freedom, space, movement, social interaction, physical closeness, laughing and sharing were no longer the normality for the largest part of the outside world.
Now, after eight months of life in this excessively beautiful place, I am back to Italy in self-isolation before being able to visit my family and attend the joyful celebration of my sister’s wedding. It is unavoidable to reflect on my past experience in Sinai, as scenes of that incredible place continue popping up into my mind and everyone sending me messages of welcome back raises curious questions about my period away.
“I almost melted from the excess of beauty,” has become my first answer, to myself and the others. Naturally, I then deep into this statement, asking myself: what was so beautiful?
Even before, what does beautiful mean? I enter into a philosophical debate with myself. As always, referring to the Arabic language offers guidance to the rush of thoughts flowing into my mind. I do a google search about the meaning of the word “al-gamal” (Beauty), starting from the three-letter root “jim”, “mim”, “lam”. I wish to find a definition according to the most comprehensive ancient Arabic dictionary “Lisan al-Arab” by Ibn Manzour dating back to the 13th century. However, during my research, AlMaany Arabic Online Dictionary presents a sentence that captures my attention
I can now more easily trace back those moments of last year, when my soul was filled with happiness and contentment.
Waking up and seeing the sun shining over the Sinai land, giving light to the mountains and glamour to the sea.
Diving into the fresh waters of the Red Sea, observing the variety of the underwater world rich of life, colours, and shapes.
Going for a run in the valley, with the sound of the wind breaking the silence of the desert, the birds flying over me and the dogs running beside me.
Sipping a cup of Turkish Coffee by the beach, in the company of a book, staring at the far horizon with no beginning nor end.
Sharing delicious meals with friends, where the food would feed my body and the conversations would norture my soul.
Gathering for juice or tea, in simple settings animated by the truthful exchange among splendid humans.
These could be the highlights of the everyday life in Dahab. However, the most defining moments, where happiness and contentment would spark into my soul and then shine into the surroundings, were outside the context of the town.
I lived excessively beautiful days in a unique place in Nuweiba, where I had the chance to go once, sometimes, twice per week. I believe that my feelings of fulfilment (wafaa’), satisfaction (ridaa’) and contentment (safaa’) felt at the highly emotional moment of leaving Dahab on May 31st, were largely connected to the participation into the inspiring process of building the Wilderness Therapy Center in Nuweiba. Casually, I found myself entirely dedicated to contributing to the process of bringing life to that place, under the guidance of the distinctive expedition leader, founder of the Insights Seekers wellness programme, and dear friend, Belal Abdussalam. Thanks to his openness to let me enter that place in first instance and then organically integrate me into some activities which could be helpful for the development of the project, my person could immensely evolve, in harmony with the essence of myself, connected with the humans around me and in reflection of the beauty of creation. There, I found a number of insights, which are now constituting a solid basis for the evolution of my persona. To this impactful experience, I will dedicate a separate post, as there are infinite reflections to share. You can also check my article for Egyptian Streets to discover more about this place.
Furthermore, my soul was filled with pure joy while walking in the desert in different locations around Nuweiba and St. Catherine. Again, I am grateful for the guidance and companionship of Insights Seekers, with which I could experience the healing and elevating power of nature.
With Insights Seekers, I have also learnt how to break the barriers of fear. Now, fear feels to me as something we, as humans, build, sometimes to protect ourselves, as a reaction to previous experiences or beliefs we have developed in our life. Yet, they are not immutable obstacles in time and space. Rather, they can dissolve, or transform. Fear can be the springboard from where we jump into new seas. After recognizing our fears, we can try to see what is beyond-or perhaps behind-them. As in my case, we might discover new sensations we have for too long prevented ourselves to experience, for irrational reasons. Going to do rock climbing in different locations in the Sinai mountains, like Waterfalls and Camel Canyon, pushed me to step outside of my comfort zone, making the effort to go up rather than staying where I was. The mountain wall represented the path to higher levels and whenever I went down, I came different and rather renewed. From Chaos to Clarity and then Serenity, as my dear fried Ashmawui once framed it. I will expand on the takeaways of my rock climbing attempts in another post, too.
Futhermore, I keep with myself the extraordinary emotions felt while being in contact with horses and riding them. I had the chance to be introduced to these animals among the magnificent nature of Sinai, where all senses awake at degrees never imagined before. Approaching horses in that environment, with the few, but inspiring, inputs from Belal and Ahmad from MonaLisa stable, allowed me to discover a very sensitive part of myself, which could shyly show up in face of the horse. I still remember those moments, feeling an incredible connection just staring at the horse’s wide, expressive, caring eyes. Then, after riding inside Wadi Gnai, walking her around the stable and unexpectedly entering into a silent conversation with her, which I wish could had never ended, I recharged with renewed energy. I thank horses for those precious moments, when they would let out a truthful, free, sensitive side of my personality
Finally there were spontaneous moments either in solitude or with friends, sometimes exploring the interior side of Sinai by bike, by car and on foot, sometimes relaxing alongside the shore of the Red Sea.
Looking back to these intense moments of pure contentment, I can now recognize more clearly some defining values connected to beauty.
Beauty springs up from one, perfect source, then it reflects into the completeness of nature. When I was walking down a mountain during a hike in Wadi Fre’ia in the holy month of Ramadan before iftar, the breaking of the fast at sunset time, I looked up. I stopped in contemplation of the breath taking, gigantic, perfect sun. It was just a luminous sphere disappearing behind the opposite distant mountains, giving an infinite mixture of colours to the sky and a variety of shades to the land. A word could express what I was thinking of: ‘Al-kamal’, which could be translated with numerous terms in English, among which ‘completeness’ and ‘perfection’. At that moment, that one beautiful sun showed me the perfection of creation, leading me to wonder about the completeness of the creator.
Beauty and simplicity. Spending beautiful times in the simple environment of the Wilderness Therapy Center under construction in Nuweiba, led me to the conclusion that simple things are beautiful and beautiful things are simple. There, simple elements organically integrated in the place spring up happy emotions. The less we have, the more we enjoy. The less we do, if coming from solid intentions and lived with presence, the more we enjoy.
Beauty is also intense, connected to presence. Getting rid of unnecessary distractions both in our head and outside us, we recognize the beautiful essence of most of the creation.
The word essence leads me to expand on the meaning of authenticity.
Beauty also manifested to me in relation to authenticity. I was lucky enough to live in an authentic environment, as a small town in the desert is not as artificial as big cities, where most things are human-made. From the awareness of the natural environment I was living in, I started noticing my authentic essence emerging more easily than in other contexts. Then, human interactions become more authentic, as each person shows the inner self with less filters. In my last hiking around St. Catherine area, after climbing Mount Sinai, I was reflecting on the internal changes happening throughout the three days just walking in nature. Does nature change you or it rather let emerge your true authentic essence?
Wrapping up on the essence of my experience in Sinai, I can therefore confirm it was BEAUTIFUL.
Most importantly, I can FEEL that it has been beautiful, now that I walked away, took a break and got some time in (imposed) isolation. Yes, distance in time and space is also important to understand the impact of experiences. Happy times alternated with sadder moments compose real life. Beautiful things are noticeable in comparison to less beautiful ones.
. “t3arif alshai bdiddu” (“you know the thing from its opposite”), an Arabic saying recites. I value now movement because I feel the lack of it, in isolation. The necessity of knowing both extremes reminds me of Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran definition of happiness, as something we can feel only if we know pain. From knowing both sides of emotions, you can then distinguish them and, if you are lucky enough, choose according to what you prefer. Distinguishing what is beautiful from what is not, then choose and walk towards that, every day.
Silence following sounds, rest after action and stillness coming from movement. Like the waves of the Red Sea long observed during my peaceful mornings in Dahab, there is a flux and a reflux. Both shape a wave. I am now in the reflux part of that incredible experience, where I know what I want to take away.
Beauty.
I like to see this unexpected gift of receiving excessive beauty for a long constant period of time as a sign, indicating directions for my future self. My turn to start giving back might have arrived, now with the clear intention of wanting to create beauty, as much as our human power allows.
It has been invigorating, an adjective that once a person used to describe the expeditions in the desert with Insights Seekers. I established authentic connections, with myself and the others. I could appreciate simplicity. Nature made me present. Most of all, it was intense and these lines represent just a mere attempt to put into words transcendental emotions that evolve beyond the materialistic world.
Note: this blog post was written in June 2021, after leaving Egypt for the summer. I am now back to Egypt and I will soon share a post from my time here, now.